I can’t believe I did that…

I’m really good at making a fool of myself. I say inappropriate things. I goof around when I should be serious. I over-commit and under-deliver. The list goes on.

When I realize it, I feel awful and embarrassed. Out of shame, I try to hide my weaknesses. Sometimes it works. Time passes and people forget. Other times it just makes things worse.

Today I was chatting with a friend who feels like she keeps repeating the same mistake. I totally empathized. I hate when I can’t break free of a bad habit.

However, I’m discovering that most people feel frustrated with themselves on a regular basis. We don’t measure up to the standards we set for ourselves, and sometimes it devolves into really unfortunate things like anxiety, insecurity, or even self-hatred.

Today I had the “genius” (read: long overdue, obvious) idea to step back and look at all of this from a Christian worldview.

When I screw up, I can sink into self-loathing, or I can accept the truth that I am weak and in need of a Savior.

Satan would have me choose discouragement. It paralyzes me. When I am discouraged, I hide. I don’t take risks of faith, trusting in God to use my feeble offerings for His glory. Instead, I focus on myself, as if I should have the ability to change the world. When I do well, I am proud of myself. When I fall short, I berate myself. But God never called me to that roller coaster. It’s not my job to make a difference. It’s my job to seek Him and let Him make a difference through me. That’s a subtle but huge distinction.

The Bible says, “I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13, NKJV, emphasis added) So often I omit the key to that verse — through Christ. It’s His Spirit who gives us power. We’re a mess on our own.

So now, when I feel defeated, I am going to try to reframe those moments as reminders of my desperate need for Christ.

As I was wrapping up this post, I opened my Bible app to double check the Scripture reference above. The Verse of the Day popped up and felt like hug of affirmation straight from heaven:

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” (Romans 8:26, NIV)

Thank you, God, for loving me in spite of myself, for interceding for me in my weakness, and for using my errors to Your glory. You are so good.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV)

Photo Credit:  Abigail Keenan, https://unsplash.com/@akeenster